Heavenly Messengers

I recently came across an article published in the "Liahona" and written by Dale C. Mouritsen. In it, he relays a story originally told by President Heber J. Grant. I found it to be very spiritual and fitting to Kerrigan's passing.

We have a right, then, to understand the true nature of our existence. We also have a responsibility to search it out, for the more aware we become that the spirit world is a real extension of our mortal existence, the less likely we are to fasten our hearts on the treasures of this world.

One of the most beautiful stories in our heritage, an experience of President Heber J. Grant’s, bears witness that a testimony about the right relationship between life, death, and the spirit world can comfort us in times of sorrow, help us understand God’s purposes, and teach us the true nature of our existence. President Grant writes:

“I have been blessed with only two sons. One of them died at five years of age and the other at seven. My last son died of a hip disease. I had built great hopes that he would live to spread the Gospel at home and abroad and be an honor to me. About an hour before he died I had a dream that his mother, who was dead, came for him, and that she brought with her a messenger, and she told his messenger to take the boy while I was asleep; and in the dream I thought I awoke and I seized my son and fought for him and finally succeeded in getting him away from the messenger who had come to take him, and in so doing I dreamed that I stumbled and fell upon him.

“I dreamed that I fell upon his sore hip, and the terrible cries and anguish of the child drove me nearly wild. I could not stand it and I jumped up and ran out of the house so as not to hear his distress. I dreamed that after running out of the house I met Brother Joseph E. Taylor and told him of these things.

“He said: ‘Heber, do you know what I would do if my wife came for one of her children—I would not struggle to keep that child; I would not oppose her taking that child away. If a mother who had been faithful had passed beyond the veil, she would know of the suffering and the anguish her child may have to suffer; she would know whether that child might go through life as a cripple and whether it would be better or wiser for that child to be relieved from the torture of life; and when you stop to think, Brother Grant, that the mother of that boy went down into the shadow of death to give him life, she is the one who ought to have the right to take him or keep him.’

“I said, ‘I believe you are right, Brother Taylor, and if she comes again, she shall have the boy without any protest on my part.’

“After coming to that conclusion, I was waked by my brother, B. F. Grant, who was staying that night with us, helping to watch over the sick boy. He called me into the room and told me that my child was dying. I went in the front room and sat down. There was a vacant chair between me and my wife who is now living, and I felt the presence of that boy’s deceased mother, sitting in that chair. I did not tell anybody what I felt, but I turned to my living wife and said: ‘Do you feel anything strange?’ She said: ‘Yes, I feel assured that Heber’s mother is sitting between us, waiting to take him away."

“Now, I am naturally, I believe, a sympathetic man. I was raised as an only child, with all the affection that a mother could lavish upon a boy. I believe that I am naturally affectionate and sympathetic and that I shed tears for my friends—tears of joy for their success and tears of sorrow for their misfortunes. But I sat by the deathbed of my little boy and saw him die, without shedding a tear. My living wife, my brother, and I, upon that occasion experienced a sweet, peaceful, and heavenly influence in my home, as great as I have ever experienced in my life.”

The reason I found this so fitting is because of what Kerrigan told Brandon the night before she passed. She was notorious for seeing "monsters" in her closet, and Brandon was always so good at scaring them away. When he was up with her that night, she claimed that she saw ghosts in her closet. Now, this was the first time she'd ever mentioned ghosts. Later, Brandon felt that he should have asked her what the ghosts looked like. We now have no doubt in our minds that her Great-grandpa Strom and Great-grandpa Richardson were there to guide her home. She always thought of herself as a cowgirl, so it was only fitting that the cowboys in our family would be sent to bring her back.

We've also thought "What if we'd brought her up to our room to sleep?" "What if I'd stayed up a little longer with her and read her that last story that she asked for?" "What if we'd checked on her an hour earlier?" As hard as it is to admit, we know that none of these would've made a difference. Her "messengers" would have come to take her anyway because Heavenly Father had decided that it was time for her to go home. Like President Grant said "If a mother who had been faithful had passed beyond the veil, she would know of the suffering and the anguish her child may have to suffer; she would know whether that child might go through life as a cripple and whether it would be better or wiser for that child to be relieved from the torture of life..." Granted, it was not her mother who called her home...it was her Heavenly Father who sent her grandpas to be her messengers. Heavenly Father knew the suffering that she went through with her asthma, and he knew if she would have suffered more had she stayed on this earth any longer than he allowed her. We, as her earthly parents, could never know the extent of her health problems and what could have plagued her in the future. She was released from those bonds before they could become crippling or take an even more adverse effect on her daily life. We are thankful for this small miracle, even though this miracle lead to us losing our little miracle girl...someday I hope to be able to look back and thank Heavenly Father for this small wonder.